My life sucks. I have a job I hate that doesn't pay. I have debts that I am barely able to afford, and others that I can't. I have legal issues to resolve and obligations to meet. I have a profound discontentment with my living situation and the guilt of being a burden on my family. I have few real friends. I have a low sense of self-efficacy, and if I believed in self-esteem I'd have a low sense of that too.
It's time to break this cycle.
Towards the end of last year, I happened upon the single most motivational article I've ever read. Writing for Cracked.com (of all places), David Wong authored "6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person" as a manifesto to the Underachiever and the Loser. He echoes the cliched mantras, "Actions speak louder than words" and "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me", but he does so without the naive levity of other columnists or the political correctness of motivational speakers.
His list is uncharacteristic of self-help lists for two reasons: it does not offer helpful suggestions, and it does not read like a list. It is a single article that makes one point very clear. The world has wants and needs and your value to the world depends solely on your ability to provide for it.
My life sucks. Let me say it again: My life sucks. I am of little value to this world, to my job, to the few friends I have, to my family, and most of all to myself, because I don't have the specialized knowledge, skills, or abilities that make me valuable. I know that it's entirely my fault for not developing them properly. It's entirely my fault for not following through with my plans and not pursuing my interests. I spent entirely too much time consuming television programs, and movies, and music, and spectator sports (also on TV), and video games, and food, and sex, and drugs, and conversation, and other pastimes that did nothing but age me without making me smarter, abler, or wealthier. Most of my life has been idle consumption, and as a result I've little to show for it. Idleness is a luxury I do not deserve.
This is why I'm unhappy and unsatisfied. This is Step One.
I started this blog to make my life better. My goals are lofty, and it may be that I never reach them. But I have faith that committing to change will be fruitful, and that knowing exactly how I fucked up will prevent me from remaining stagnant in the weeds of sloth.
My life sucks. But it's getting better, man!
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